The Pragmatic Perspective

Why is a software company rolling out unreliable pieces of garbage and calling them "innovative operating system(s)"? That would be Windows Vista. Maybe they should continue to use that which time has tested, instead of trying to make millions on a decorative failure! I wonder if you can guess what I'm going to do with this new HP laptop? Stay tuned.....

 Due to a terrible problem with Windows Vista on my 4 month old laptop, I was unable to publish this on Christmas Day! I truly hope yours was a happy one! Zoe was able to wear her new dress ( Thank you Jill!) to her Papa and Jill's for Christmas Eve. We also spent Christmas day there and Jill's brother Scott and his wife Gail and 4 daughters joined us. Much food and fun followed. Zoe became overwhelmed by the activity and noise; however, she was more than willing to return to Sidney with the girls for a sleepover! It was the first time she has stayed over with anyone other than grandmas or aunties. The weather prevented her return on Friday, so she was obliged to remain until Saturday. She was delivered to our door Saturday before lunch and immediately began to plan her next visit there.  I hope you were able to experience some unexpected joy during your holiday celebration! Joy, peace, and good health to you in the New Year! 

Here's the first round of Christmas cookies.These gingerbread cookies are for Zoe's school Christmas program this Wednesday evening. I also froze dough for raspberry pinwheels to bake another day. Whew! I was concerned that I'd never get started, but I believe Zoe will keep me going. She enjoys helping most of the time. She actually frosted half of this batch herself! Anything to do with rolling, spreading, or frosting brings her from the other room. "Mom, I washed my hands; can I help?" I hope she can take over in a few years! My feet are not up to 6 hours in the kitchen!

What is free time? You may ask, " What does a stay-at-home-mom have to do all day?" Well, to begin, I'm not doing much of the "staying home" part these days. I've been working since the beginning of November, filling in for Jill (my step-mom-in-law) at her store. She's on an extended trip for medical treatment; meanwhile, she's paying me so I can pay my surgery bills! Very cool, indeed! (She is doing well; it's nothing serious, and insurance covers it.) I had looked forward to plenty of time for working out and cooking when Zoe started school. Instead, I was working on our building, and now I'm in customer service. Not too bad of a trade, but I am a bit frazzled. Zoe does not care for being picked up from school and heading back to my job for 2 hours. Afterward, we usually have to stop at the store for groceries , and then home to cook supper. She is getting better at not complaining, but I'm paying for it any of the time we are at home! ...

One of my most favorite songs ever, done by someone who knows about going to the edge and living to tell. Some background here .

A couple weeks back, my sister and nephew were able to fly down from Anchorage to visit Mom and Dad for a few days. We drove to Mandan to spend one night with the family. As always, it was not nearly enough time to catch up with Jonae and cuddle Julian, but we are thankful for the time we had! He is such an adorable little guy and very friendly considering this was only the second time we have seen him. Zoe was exceedingly attentive, and I really wish she could be around to entertain him more often!

These are the wonderful flowers my family had sent to the hotel the morning of my sinus surgery. They were a vibrant reminder of dear people thinking of me during a difficult day! I'm happy to report that there seems to be reason to hope the surgery will be a success. My nose is usually clearer than prior to surgery. I don't know how long it will take for the swelling to go down and everything to clear out, but I'm told that 2 weeks is not the mark for evaluating results. I had a structural issue; openings were widened and doors removed. There should be a clear path inside my head hence forth. Yippee! Seriously- this could change my whole life. That qualifies as beautiful!

"To ban guns because criminals use them is to tell the innocent and law-abiding that their rights and liberties depend not on their own conduct, but on the conduct of the guilty and the lawless, and that the law will permit them to have only such rights and liberties as the lawless will allow... For society does not control crime, ever, by forcing the law-abiding to accommodate themselves to the expected behavior of criminals. Society controls crime by forcing the criminals to accommodate themselves to the expected behavior of the law-abiding." -- Jeff Snyder, Oct 20, 1994 facts

I am excited and nervous for this next Wednesday, Oct. 22. I'm going to Billings(for the third time in 3 weeks) for surgery. If you are one of those friends who talks to me often, you will know that I have struggled with sinus problems for years. I believe it's been since I was a small child, but I didn't know what the problem was since I was generally miserable for a good chunk of my childhood. There will be both an otolaryngologist and an oral surgeon working on me in succession. The new endoscopic sinus surgery promises to be the key to relief of the pressure/pain in my head. I am taking advantage of my first time being under anethesia to have those crazy teeth out, too. Wish me luck! In a few months, I hope to be breathing clearly!

I feel compelled by media coverage to share this little reminder. Congress makes the laws; Presidents sign "yes" or "no". Very little can be accomplished by an ADMINISTRATOR without the cooperation of the LEGISLATORS. Please consider the Congressional candidates on your ballot to be VITALLY important as to the direction our country will take! Thank you and have a good day!

We have primed and caulked the entire roof. Then we moved on to painting on this gray rubber-paint, laying mesh on top, and re-coating with the rubber-paint. Now we have to roll on a couple more layers of the gray kind, then we switch to white. After several layers of that, we will have a roof that sheds water very well. An added bonus is the non-toxic quality of this product. If we set up a rain collection system, we don't have to worry about chemical contamination in the rain water! I'm sure that I will prefer to use that water for flushing the toilet anyway.

Another year. 11 in all. Guess what we did to celebrate? (My dear husband is still there.) Maybe next year we will stick to painting or something a little less exciting. You're still the best man I know, Jesse! I'm in for the rest of the journey; I'm glad you are too, dude!

Kids can be so amazing! Sometimes they drive us crazy, and the next they wow us with their perception and attention to detail! Last night, shortly after she went to bed, Zoe came out of her room. "Mom and Dad, I have to tell you something! 8 plus 8 plus 8 plus 8 equals 32!"she exclaimed. "How did you know that?" we queried in awe. " I counted." (in other words "Duh"). Michele, is my punctuation correct? I'm getting rusty. Thanks!

Zoe is wild with excitement to start kindergarten next week! All the schools in town began already, but Deer Creek starts kindergartners September 3. We decided to put her in country school after 1/2 day kindergarten was eliminated in town. While she has a true and constant thirst for knowledge, we did not feel that the way to meet such was by putting her in a classroom 6+ hours a day, 5 days a week. Traditional teaching style is compatible with less than 20% of children. I believe Zoe to be in the "traditional" category for learning, but time enough for that in the coming years. The system works for some, but not all. There is not structure nor mechanism in place to meet the individual needs of each child's education. Parents are crucial to the educational process! If we can't fill in gaps and recognize where something's missing, our kids will suffer. Hopefully, Zoe will be benefited by the small, mixed grade classroom at Deer Creek. The young, cheerful teacher ...

I hope you can get an idea of how the project is progressing. It's always so much easier to work when there is finally something to walk on besides rafters. Jesse does really well, but work will go faster now that he has a steady place to stand.

Thanks to the USPS, we have a steady supply of top-notch entertainment via Netflix. Our latest is the 2005 BBC adaptation of Charles Dickens' Bleak House . It is positively mesmerizing! Gillian Anderson caught our eye in a preview from another BBC DVD. To see her in a period piece was unusual, so we investigated. We are nearly unable to tear our eyes away to go to bed each night! The acting is stellar,and the performances draw one right into the story. I hope we make it through the weekend as we wait for the next disc to arrive!

We had the opportunity to spend some time with our friends the Brostroms this weekend. Rain was forecast in town, and Jesse truly needed some quality time off. We called them Saturday afternoon, then drove straight to Bismarck and their home. Of course, they fed us yummy food several times; and we got to catch up and enjoy making some new memories. Their boys kept Zoe entertained both Saturday evening and Sunday.Whenever we go to Bismarck, it's usually a busy time of shopping and seeing family. This was a nice change of pace with only one stop at Walmart for just a few items. My folks were gone, so we had their air-conditioned house to ourselves. ( Thanks to my folks!) I'm so thankful for the time we had. Thanks, guys , for the food and fun! Our place next time!

Zoe has been in swimming lessons Monday through Friday, for 5 weeks in all. She has passed 2 levels, and learned how to swim in the process. Her dogpaddle/frog thing is so cute to watch! She started out with some hesitance,and I nearly gave up hoping she would learn to put her head underwater. By the end of the first week of the second level, she was doing bobs like an old pro. I'm very proud of her "go-get-em" attitude and determination. Today was the last day of lessons, and once again,she raced ahead of everyone in the class. She is a fast little kicker for such a tiny person! She also earned "Fish of the Week" and an American Red Cross card recognizing her swim level completion. I do believe, that at 5 years old, she has nearly surpassed my skills in the water! Good job, Zoe!

Here's some shots of Jesse working on the roof of our "new" building. He has devised a plan to rebuild a roof that leaked due to being flat in spots. When he's finished framing, the whole roof structure will slope to the back roof drain. Yay! Of course, then we have to cover it. We found a roof system through Resource Conservation Technology Inc. It is basically a paint-on rubber roof. Very cool, and should hold up well. Needless to say, Jesse has been busting his butt working on this roof. Tear off has taken nearly 2 months, and now he's reinforcing what's underneath. Then framing, sheeting, and finally priming and painting. When he gets done with his daily work for Splinters Contstruction, LLC; he heads to the roof for several hours of hard labor in the hot sun. I'm so proud of his drive and determination! He has put hours of thought into planning, and now even more hours of work. There's only 2 other men I know who work this hard and this smart. No ...

I've been a fan of tennis, especially Wimbledon, for over 10 years. I used to set the VCR while I was at work to tape hours of it to watch after work. After Zoe was born, I had no time nor cable to watch. A couple years ago, the mommy fog began to clear and I remembered that tennis existed. This year was the first in 8 years that I've watched so much of the tournament. It was an incredible one, with tons of great matches, especially in the men's division. A new favorite has emerged for me; Patrick Rafter is long gone, but this young guy is amazing! The Spanish Rafael Nadal is a fighter to the end. It was the longest running final in Wimbledon's history. Switzerland's Roger Federer was a great opponent, and the entire match was close. It ended after 5 awesome sets with some of the best shots I've ever seen. Rafa's emotion at the end was contagious! After he got off the ground, he climbed on the NBC box to hug his family. Then he walked across another box to g...

Yep. Here's our project for the summer. Tear off roofing 107+ years old and start fresh. Fun times. I don't like the heat we've been having, but it's better than rain when you have huge holes in a roof. Jesse gets to work on it every day after work and on weekends and holidays. Too bad I only get to help when I can get a sitter. We did get to watch the Fourth of July parade from up there, though. Zoe thought it was "so cool!" and we didn't have handfuls of candy to rot her teeth. It is a lot of work, but we feel this is worth every drop of sweat. In a few years we may look back and laugh. Or at least smile.

On this day, I must ponder the experience of motherhood. I won't be able to say it is everything I ever dreamed it would be. Neither can I say it's the bane of my existence. Somewhere between the two. I have moments when I think I shall be the source of Zoe's demise; and times when I can see the wonder that is my own child. It's a fragile dance between my impression upon her;and her expression of self. I find affirmation of my positive influence on her from many good people. My self-doubt endures regardless. When has a good mother ever known she was? Doesn't a bad mother often know it? And so on until my earthly end....I'm trying.......

Stop and think a minute. Really. Why are you doing what you are doing at this moment? If you're working- could be that you need money for rent and food. Sitting-because you are tired, maybe lazy. Searching online- for a good deal or a little hope or motivation. It's just that we often live unconsciously. Why are you working at your job? Why do I stay here and cook and clean and entertain my child all day? Perhaps you work for a better life; to touch people's lives while doing so. I stay so that I can pass on what I value most- honesty, love, goodness, strength. So before you drink your coffee, think about "why" you drink it. Before you hoist those 30 lb. dumbells, consider the reason. If you plan to hug your dog; remember those hairy, stinky beasts don't live forever. Try to do more things for reasons you have actively considered. Know your why. I'm always looking for mine.

There's a label for me! Since I'm a mom who stays at home......SAHM. Here's a link to a post by another mom with an interesting perspective. Yes, sign me up for a raise!

This is our big ol ' dream. We hope to make this 107 year old building we bought into something useful. First priority is repairing the roof-it's completely wrecked. It is in such disrepair that we got a fantastic deal! After 2 or 3 years we may live in it and run a business there, too. Considering the scope of the project, I won't get my hopes up; but I'll keep dreaming!

I am sure you all have noticed that there's never any talk of a sibling for our dear daughter. She has bemoaned her lonely state for a couple years; but the yearnings of a child are never reason to bring another person into being. I feel for her, all the while realizing there is no way I can parent another child. If I'm still burned out from the strains of new parenthood, there is not much hope for recovery any time soon. Zoe is a precious part of our lives, and we give her as much of ourselves as is reasonable. We intend to retain our individual persons throughout the course of life; this is not an easy task, especially when trying to raise a responsible, loving child. It is all too easy to erase the lines between parent and child; finding balance is a constant goal. We shall continue to strive for being the best parents we can be to her. Hopefully, she will one day understand things from our perspective. If not, I hope we have given her the ability to love us anyway.

Here's pics from my birthday party(2-29-08). I have the best family! We went to the local pizza place, where we get great service from Megan. She is the daughter of my step-mother-in-law, Jill; who is terrific! My sis-in-law made me a yummy grasshopper cheesecake which we thoroughly enjoyed. SO...... thanks to Glenn, Jill,Jesse, Zoe, Mehl, Pete and Shawn for helping me celebrate 33!

I found these guys on John Mayer's Myspace page several months back. Love this song!

We removed the wall between kitchen and living area in August 2006. The floor has been unfinished since. This past weekend changed things considerably. We are quite pleased with the results. The bathroom has this new flooring, too.

I have had the honor of having my sister and nephew here in my home for 2 nights. Julian is a little charmer- he just loves to respond to teasing and tickles! Zoe is a most attentive cousin; she would care for him entirely if she were able. Thankfully, he has a wonderful mother for that! Jonae has good instinct and solid parenting skills. These challenging months of "little baby" have depleted her sleep reserves, but her mother's heart is intact. I am so proud of her!

I have long believed that the products we use daily to clean ourselves and our homes can affect our health. Here is a link to a site that gives data on health and beauty products. I have used Dr. Bronner's bar soaps before, and they are known to be safe and versatile. Some of the Aveeno lotions I have used are also safe, and I really liked those, too. I know these items can be expensive- Amazon sells multiple bottle packs for a good price. Vitamin Shoppe has Dr. Bronner's cheap. Basically, I've decided to buy only items that do not contain chemicals known to cause cancer or endocrine-system disruption. I will be finishing my bottle of makeup, but Zoe's shampoo is going back to the store unopened. I don't intend to live my life freaking out about everything, but I am responsible to be proactive concerning my health and that of my family.

Zoe is 5 years old! Strange to think I have a 5 year old child. We celebrated yesterday complete with cake, balloons, family and friends. Zoe did pretty well, but was kind of upset that she couldn't place candles on the cake herself. Aunt Mehl made it look so pretty! She recovered and went on to enjoy the day. Having all those people show up just for her made her day. I really appreciate the trouble they went to for her happiness. In all, I spent about 12 hours between preparing, partying, and putting everything in order. I should be the one who's a year older! I will actually be on the 28th:). Consequently, I'm happy to have a whole year before we do that again!

Yesterday - heard about Heath Ledger. So sad! He was a favorite of ours. Now we may never watch every film he made-it's too sad to think there will be nothing else with his boyish grin and heart-felt performance. I feel for his family, especially his little girl who won't know where Daddy went. Peace to them all! I had an easier, personal goodbye yesterday. All of Zoe's baby, toddler clothes were given to a family with 6 children, 2 being twin newborn girls. They will definitely use it all, and we don't need it anymore since we don't plan for more kids. That may be why it was difficult for me. It really sunk in that the baby times have past, and we are off at full speed into childhood, teens, and beyond. Pictured below is a portion of the stuff. A new phase, and hopefully a new challenge and fresh joy.

She has the best colors and the coolest designs! I will try to share more of her work here.